May 04, 2013

Ninja Terminator (1985)

 
Ninja Terminator is quite possibly one of the worst films that I have ever seen or ever will see. All the problems I have with the Maltese Falcon pales into insignificance compared to Ninja Terminator. The plot and I use that word loosely is that three parts of a statue are split up and have people are after all three parts. What happens is a mess of a film, well technically two films because it’s clear that at least two films have been blurred together to make it. As nothing actually makes sense it’s down to the martial arts sequences to save the film but considering this is the only thing in the movie that works what we get are several very prolonged sequences which after a while get a little bit boring.

There are too many things that are truly mad to mention but the idea of a little transformers robot causing any terror is a stupid idea and all you can do is really laugh but it does make you wonder what was going on in Godfrey Ho’s mind that he thought people would find this dramatic. You cant use the classic excuse which is that it’s the 80’s. Richard Harrison seems to have more fun with him Garfield cat than anything else. Random people turn up with at times dodgy blond wigs and nothing makes any sense.

As dodgy as the acting is the directing is truly appauling. There are several moments where the camera cuts off people and then slowly pans back to get the right number of people. There have been instances where people are talking but all we see are the people they are talking to. Ninja Terminator has to be seen to be believed. These films effectively ruined Harrison’s career but to end up in these sort of movies implies that he didn’t really have a career.

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