Ghosts Dont Exist (2010)

Ghosts Don’t Exist is suppose to be a horror film which won the 2010 DC Independent Film Festival. It does raise the question as to what the other films were like that meant this was the best. The film focuses on Brett Wilson who is a ghost hunter when at the beginning of the film his wife passes away. The film then focuses on Wilson who is told that he has to produce one more episode of his TV show or the network will take legal action. First point to raise is that after spending ages convincing him to do it, the guy (presumably representing the network) is concerned that Wilson is going along with the final trip. The story moves to a house where some weird guy talks some rubbish and then kills himself. The rest of the film attempts to try and create some tension but fails miserably. People start to act strange and the filmmakers are trying to convince us that there is some paranormal force behind the behaviour changes they tend change the rules and say that the behaviour was cause by carbon monoxide.

The acting was terrible. I mean woeful. The lead (Phillip Roebuck) was very boring to watch and when the lead is that dull its very hard to let the film work. The others weren’t much better with every single actor on screen doing their level best to ruin the film. I thought that maybe the film title would be some clever plot twist but no. There was not one single ghost in the entire damn film. Ghosts Don’t Exist is the sort of movie that wouldn’t look out of place on Channel 5 in the middle of the afternoon. There is absolutely nothing scary whatsoever about this movie and I’m surprised it won anything apart from ‘Turkey of the Year’.

As of this moment, it has been reviewed 294 times on IMDB and it’s got an overall rating of 3.4 out of 10. I think 2.4 out of ten is probably the most realistic. Ghosts Don’t Exist is a poor excuse for a film and its not very often when I want to stop the film but this was one of those times but you have to see it in its entirety to judge something and having sat through this I can honestly say that I wish Ghosts do exist because it would have made this film more enjoyable.

Ninja Terminator (1985)

 

Ninja Terminator is quite possibly one of the worst films that I have ever seen or ever will see. All the problems I have with the Maltese Falcon pales into insignificance compared to Ninja Terminator. The plot and I use that word loosely is that three parts of a statue are split up and have people are after all three parts. What happens is a mess of a film, well technically two films because it’s clear that at least two films have been blurred together to make it. As nothing actually makes sense it’s down to the martial arts sequences to save the film but considering this is the only thing in the movie that works what we get are several very prolonged sequences which after a while get a little bit boring.

There are too many things that are truly mad to mention but the idea of a little transformers robot causing any terror is a stupid idea and all you can do is really laugh but it does make you wonder what was going on in Godfrey Ho’s mind that he thought people would find this dramatic. You cant use the classic excuse which is that it’s the 80’s. Richard Harrison seems to have more fun with him Garfield cat than anything else. Random people turn up with at times dodgy blond wigs and nothing makes any sense.

As dodgy as the acting is the directing is truly appauling. There are several moments where the camera cuts off people and then slowly pans back to get the right number of people. There have been instances where people are talking but all we see are the people they are talking to. Ninja Terminator has to be seen to be believed. These films effectively ruined Harrison’s career but to end up in these sort of movies implies that he didn’t really have a career.